It’s About Time

What do you do when your desire does not come through?  Do you begrudge that life has shortchanged you or accept it as fatalism – nothing you can do but accept it.  Or do you quietly trust in the sovereign plan of God to deal with you as He sees fit; knowing that He can be trusted even during times of disappointment and heartaches?

I desire to finish postgrad biblical studies but was denied the opportunity by the US Embassy while home on vacation after obtaining my MDiv.  The denial was not due to irregularities in my application; nor due to my overstay (which I most certainly did not); but that I had spent too long a time in the US and must be here for a few years before continuing another three semesters of STM (Masters of Sacred Theology which is equivalent of ThM).  The officer at the embassy said that I need to reestablish my ties here back home (all my families are here and I’ve always had strong ties here and property and national obligations here).  despite affidavit that proves my strong ties here, the embassy wouldn’t budge.

My friend John Ball couldn’t believe it and wrote to his senator, Paul Wellstone, whose office wrote to me seeking clarification before deciding if I am worthy of assistance.  Unfortunately, Sept 2001 came and threw the nation of US into a pandemonium. Everything shuts down there and then.  I did not pursue knowing the fear and paranoia that prevails then.  Meanwhile I became an associate pastor of a local new testament church.  Life needed adjustments to this sudden change of events. God giveth more grace truly.

Early disappointments were hard to take, though not impossible. It is the determined trust in God’s wisdom and will that saw us through.  Unfair and unkind remarks were made by missionaries and preachers who did not seek the facts but speculated in their minds and fellowships.  If only they would bother to ask they would know the truth.  This further isolates one who is already struggling to come to terms of not returning to do his post grad studies at a prestigious seminary in TX.  

I trust in God who says yes to my request and also No to others. He can be trusted to make judgment calls. He is my Father who doeth all things well.  when I see the names of friends who graduated with the degree that I had wanted to study and earned, I must rest in the goodness and overall purpose of God.  Then only can I go on without bitterness and anger. God didn’t fail to meet my expectation – He is above all of my imaginations.  I can trust Him today as I did yesterday.  He is a friend whom I can trust even when my earnest desire did not come through. It’s okay.

I enjoy holding the hand of Amanda while walking together on the pathway near our home.  It is a delightful and precious time between a father and his toddler.  There is a fundamental difference between holding the hand of your wife, and that of your daughter. When I hold my wife’s hand it is the warm touch of companionship – one that reminds you that we’ve been through thick and thin, and the trust and love that sees us through them all.  When I hold Amanda’s hand, it is the gentle soft touch of a child who depends on you to lead her on the right path – it spells responsibility and accountability. Yet these are not burdensome responsibilities that one dreads but something deem precious yet daunting considering the value of a human life.

I pray that I will be a right model for little Amanda.  Lord willing, I would like to be the one who lead her to the Lord Jesus Christ as her Savior.  May I be there to hold her hands when she treads through the terrible yet awesome years of teenage life that daddy is there for her. May I be there to help my wife usher her into adulthood knowing the grace and wisdom of God.  Then joyfully but likely tearfully one day, to lead her hand and place it in the hand of a young man whom God has called to lead her in a new family life.  May I still be counted on in golden age to offer a hand when she needs one.  

Looking down the tunnel of life, it is important to remember that NOW is the time to hold her hand in the right direction, if I want to see that desire be a reality.

It’s been awhile since my last entry in this blog. Time surely flies – even if you’re not having fun!  Seriously, sometimes I cannot recall all that has transpired because of tiredness.  Amanda certainly demands lots of time though she doesn’t do it but that’s just the nature of parenting.  
God has been so gracious towards us in giving us Amanda. It’s a daunting task to parent her and raise her in godly fashion.  We’ll rely on His grace and resources to see us through.  

Somehow I still return to this font when I type the document because it is clear and easy to read.  Yet it is casual in its appearance so that it does not give the impression that the blog is something of too serious a nature (though at times the topic is!).  

I am not a trained graphic artist but it is important that one is able to read the article or what’s printed quickly and easily. It loses its effectiveness when a person has to reread something that ought to say it like it is.  

I am not sure if I will ever find a particular font like this whose italics is curvy without losing its readability.  So for now, it’s this font that I am going with until one nicer one comes along.

The Passing of Lifelong Spouse

Genesis 23:1-20 tells us of Sarah’s home going – the passing of a princess.  She is the only woman patriarch whose age is mentioned.  This is significant tribute to her. God counted her as a faithful heroine (Heb 11).  Moses the author of Genesis highlights the reality of life – death’s visitation.  Sarah died at 127 of age.  

Abraham mourned and sorrowed. The Bible says Abraham wept.  Faith is not the enemy of tears. Nothing wrong to grieve over the loss of a loved one; the difference is that we grieve not as though there is no hope.  Grieving is a process; a stage in life.  It should not be a permanent fixture in life.  Because hope is given to all in Christ, to sorrow incessantly is essentially disbelief in the Word of God.  

Abraham lost a lifelong companion – she and her husband had gone through thick and thin in life together.  Shared experiences that nobody else apart from God understands and relishes.  Abraham also suffered the loss of a trusted friend.  We can only imagine that until our time comes when God calls our spouse home.  

Yet Abraham did not allow sorrow to overwhelm him to the extent that he could not fulfill his obligation as the head of household; father of Isaac.  Despite his sorrow, Abraham ensured that he gave his loving wife an honorable burial; a testimony of responsibility and character before his son, Isaac.  

What transpired is testimony of Abraham’s tact and deference in requesting for burial place for Sarah.  He did not want to accept a gift of land from the Ephron because in that culture, a gift means obligation and it could be taken away later on.  Abraham in genesis 14 showed his trust in God by refusing the favor of the king of Sodom. Now he likewise offered to buy the land.  No doubt God has promised the land to Abraham; the pagan does not know it.  Abraham’s purchase is to ensure there is legality to his possession before the heathen. The price Abraham paid to bury his wife was an exorbitantly high amount in his day.  Not wanting to haggle over prices, Abraham paid it so that he could ably bury the dead.  

But why choose Mamre?  It was a place of fond memories for Sarah and Abraham. It was there in Mamre that the Lord had promised her that she would give birth to a son within the year (18:1-15). Most of the great promises of land, descendants and covenant blessings seem to be associated with their years in Mamre, according to 13:14-18:15.  

Not only was it a fulfillment of obligation to carry out his duty as the head of household, a husband and father, Abraham also acted out of faith.  Instead of sending Sarah back to Ur of Chaldees where they originally came from, Abraham buried her in Canaan which is in actuality the Promised Land, this is faith – in the promises of God.  Because it is a statement that Abraham and his family are not going back.  He and his family are staying put in the place where they will call home.  Burial place is essentially a resting place.  Sarah is laid to rest in her homeland.  The land which God has promised is home to the patriarchs – only to be fulfilled in God’s time.  

Not only was Sarah buried there, we read that Abraham, Isaac, Rebekah and several of the patriarchs were also buried there. They were not buried there for sentimental reason but a statement of their faith that they would be in the Promised Land. Faith, you see, is beholding that which God has promised as a present reality (Heb 11:1).  It is not seen through the physical eye but the spiritual eye of faith.