It’s About Time

What motivates a person to keep on serving the Lord? Appreciation by fellow believers or one’s peers? Dr Les Ollila, now chancellor at Northland Baptist Bible College said aptly that if we love the ministry more than the Master, then sooner or later we will get weary and then sooner than later, we will quit the ministry. I couldn’t agree more.

Sometimes it is hard to get motivated to keep on serving. After all the holy sweat, one does not get the appreciation but suspicion. I wonder if it is worth it? Lately I have been feeling down because of the situation amongst the churches and preachers (largely the latter).  When I left Singapore for the States for seminary training, I harbored great desire to return and be used of the Lord to train nationals and whomsoever.  Six years of hard work (literally hard work!) and graduating with a rather decent GPA and even got accepted into DTS for post-grad program was encouraging. Providentially I didn’t manage to do the DTS program and had to return suddenly.  Undeterred nor discouraged because my wife & I had accepted it as God’s will at this point in time. 

Not all preachers believed that it was not due to overstay (I graduated in 3 years instead of the 5 yrs window period granted for MDiv program) but the wacky officer at the Consulate.  This person thought that I’ve been away too long and I need to etablish ties again before going back to the States for training.  Despite my legal documents (affidavit) stating the proofs that all my ties are already back here; the individual does not care to consider. Yet some interestingly speculated among themselves that I had overstayed and thus contravened the law. Of course, none came to ask if it was true.  That didn’t bothered me though I was disappointed.

Next came the issue of bible version, which some had falsely accused me of being unethical in teaching in a local church -school without being upfront about it. Contrary to the allegation, I brought up the subject at the very beginning with the pastor involved and state my position (non-TR) and asked if it would be a problem. He said, “no” and I had assured him that I would not use other version in deference to the brethren. I kept my word. However, I was also upfront to state that when asked by the students or for that matter, anybody else, I would be open and honest to state my position. But let it be known that I had made that clear at the very onset and had it been a difficulty with the pastor concerned, I would not have come on board to teach. 

Somehow, one pastoral student through Q & A came to his own conclusion and position regarding the Bible Version issue. Being a diligent student and contemplative individual, he began to read books and other forms of literature from both sides to ascertain facts for himself. Eventually from KJVO he switched to non-KJVO position. Am I responsible for his change of position? Yes, if it means if this brother asked me about my view and reasons for adopting it and I gave him a reasoned explanation. No, if it means confusing or deceiving him through wiles and strategies that led to his departure from the original position.  Consequently, that pastoral student stepped down from his ministry that he has been happily serving (that’s another ball of way in itself).  Unfortunately word has it that I have been unethical to use the school as a platform to launch my position etc. This really sticks it to one’s rib. Which, I had chosen to ignore because it wasn’t true and trusted in the rationality and to a certain extent mature discernment of these pastors and missionaries. Well, truth is, none of the fellas bothered with the facts or truth. They accepted one particular pastor’s explanation and adopted a difference stance against me. The fact remains – none came to speak with me personally yet they have the “facts” to show my problem. Phooey.  What a load of phooey. 

Then came the untruthful statements that I’ve changed from using KJV to NASB etc (not that it is a problem with me!). The awful thing is that it isn’t true. I am still using KJV in deference to the brethren who grew up using it. It doesn’t hurt me to use for it is the Word of God; neither does it commend me not to use it either.  The perpetrator turned out to be preachers!!  I didn’t retaliate nor confront but chose to leave the matter with God. Some time down the road, truth shall be made known and the Lord will vindicate on my behalf and I can trust His heart and Word.  No point taking things into my own hands, it doesn’t edify nor uplift anyone. 

Through it all, I’ve learned (and still am learning) that when I love my Master the Lord Jesus Christ, it doesn’t matter. Pleasing him is my goal in life. Perspective is a matter of the kind of lens that one sees through. if the lens is tainted with impurities, then the perception cannot be accurate. How others perceived me is secondary; while how God sees me is primary.  We cannot help or control how others view us. If one is already prejudiced against me, there is really nothing I can do about it.  Despite the disappointment experienced, I am resolve to wait patiently upon the Lord – He is my Rock, Buckler and High Tower. In Christ I can rest and go to sleep.

What about you? Are you harboring bitter spirit? You know bitterness hinders you from viewing life from God’s perspective. Everywhere you go you carry that person or incident with you. You are angry with that person’s name or imagery is mentioned. That’s bitterness. And it greatly hinders from experiencing and enjoying God’s best for your life. God don’t waste experience.  It is His intention that you come out of a situation a better Christian, not a bitter one.

Part and parcel of friendship entails the issue of openness. To the degree that one is open; the greater the level of friendship because of the implicit trust involved. Inversely, the greater the vulnerability too.  But the thing about friendship is that it cannot flourish without that element of risk-taking. 

When a person is willing to be open and be himself; by willingly to share thoughts frankly without fear of misunderstanding, he is secure within and about himself.  on the other hand, the person who is guarded all the time, reveals a previous hurt that has not healed and unwilling to take the chance to progress or move on. He is like the oyster who clams up every-time something is stirred on the seabed of his life and he views it as a threat to his well-being.  An oyster is saved from the turbulence’ but goes nowhere in terms of distance coverage. Likewise, the person who clams up is safe from the past; doing okay but not very good.  That’s sad. For life consists of being able to love others; and friendship cannot flourish without love.  And loving people entails risk-taking. Am I making sense or being cyclical in reasoning?

 Anyway, it’s late at night so probably it doesn’t make much sense to you – reader  – for now. Maybe in a less sleepy state i can articualte my thoughts better. Until then . . .