Patience or lack thereof
Patience is a word that is learned through determination, experience and lots of love. At least that is what I am discovering. I never had patience when growing up in the midst of nephews and nieces belonging to my siblings. Perhaps deep down I resented them taking up my personal space and time. Perhaps resentment because I didn’t have the chance to grow up without the added responsibilities of helping my siblings to raise their kids when I am a kid myself. At any rate, it wasn’t the kids’ fault if somebody needs to shoulder the blame. Looking back, I do regret the missed opportunities with my nephews and nieces. Things could have been better, but didn’t.
Nothing can be done by wishing it; except to learn from it. I didn’t have parents who walked me through those years. Many of my values I have to learn it on my own. Wrestling constantly over issues that I have to tackle on my own. I am grateful that I didn’t mess up big-time though I wished I had done better.
Now that I am a father of a little girl. I find it such joy to love and care for her. but believe me, the patience can be stretched a little too thin for my comfort zone. Nonetheless God gives more grace when all else seemed messed up in my mind.
Raising kids make you realize how much you need God to face the critical moments of life.
